True Love: Myth or Reality? Discovering the Secrets of what Real Love Means
True Love: Myth or Reality explores the meaning of unconditional love, separating romantic fantasy from real life. The article offers practical insights on building a meaningful, lasting connection.
This post is all about true love and relationships.
Before we dive in, here’s a quick disclaimer: everything in this blog reflects my personal perspective. My insights on love and relationships come from my own experiences, upbringing, observations, and ongoing journey of growth. I respect your views, and I hope you’ll do the same with mine. Deal?
True Love or the Magic of Romance?
Why do romance stories captivate us over an over again? Books written about love and romance have consistently become best sellers. Talented playwriters and actors immersing audiences in the struggles and triumphs of love through powerful performances on stage. What about your favorite slow song?
Have you ever thought, “When I get married, this will be my wedding song!” No judgment! Romance speaks to our heart and sparks the imagination with almost all of us.
What about those multimillion dollar, epic, blockbuster movies we watch on the big screen that are all about an unbelievable, all-consuming, indestructible love…ever seen THE NOTEBOOK? After watching that movie, I remember saying to my friends, ‘I want Notebook love! But, is it that the same as true love?
Hollywood has given us plenty of iconic scenes to dream about, from the rain-soaked kiss, a tearful reunion or the memorable, “I’ll see you in my dreams” finale (yes, I’m still talking about The Notebook…just go see it 🙂).
These stories evoke strong feelings with almost everyone because they explore the many sides of love—whether it’s young love, the challenge of forbidden love, or love that endures through life’s greatest challenges.
Even the Bible speaks about love being patient, kind, and selfless. Love does not boast, envy, or insist on its own way; it is not arrogant or rude. Love is described as bearing, believing, hoping, and enduring all things. ALL things?? Simply, love never fails!
Let’s talk about it.
What is “True Love,” Really?
What is the actual meaning of ‘true love?’ After researching different sources, the overall concept is that true love is a profound and beautiful connection that involves unconditional love, mutual understanding, and growing together. This type of love goes beyond physical attraction.
In addition to treating one another with kindness and honor, true love allows for vulnerability as well as a mutual sense of caring. Even in disagreements, both partners respect, recognize and value each other’s opinions, feelings and individuality.
True love is a commitment. Both people are invested in the relationship, even when it gets challenging! Have you ever experienced true love? Do you have that now?
Common Myths About True Love
A few scholars define myth as a folktale, or stories that aren’t true. There’s a notion that finding “the one” will complete you or make you whole.
Question—am I the only woman who believed, with all my heart, that when I got married my man would be the only thing I would ever need in life!? He’d make me happy, bring me joy, encourage me, push me, pray for me, love me, know what I need, compliment me, read my mind, etc., etc. But in reality, a healthy relationship is about two people supporting each other.
Putting unrealistic expectations on your partner and relying on them to ‘complete’ you is a recipe for disappointment. Unfortunately, I learned this the hard way, and I hope sharing my experience can save you from making the same mistake (will share later).
What Real Love Looks Like
Many people argue that they have absolutely experienced love at first sight! However, the instant chemistry you experience is often infatuation or a strong physical attraction, which can fade over time. To illustrate, let’s say you act on your initial feelings and decide to dive into a new relationship, riding the wave of that initial excitement. A few weeks in, you may find out this person is not at all what you expected—and not in a cute way.
For example, you may have an easygoing, laid-back personality. You’re all about good vibes and you love to laugh. Or perhaps you like keeping up with the latest news and yes, books are your friend. Meanwhile, your new crush? Sure, they look good but they haven’t cracked open a book since elementary school and have no sense of humor! True love typically takes time to develop and it isn’t about immediate sparks or flashy first impressions— it’s more about building a foundation of respect, trust, and maybe the occasional joke! 🤣🤣
Alright, let’s get real about what love actually looks like—not the stuff we see in movies, but the real, everyday kind of love that sticks around. Real love is often quieter, showing up in everyday acts of patience, kindness, and commitment.
While Hollywood focuses on grand gestures, true love is more about the little things that build trust and connection over time. Qualities of true love include being there for each other during challenging times and celebrating small, everyday victories together.
We all know relationships have their ups and downs. But have you noticed a ‘give up’ pattern with long-term relationships as of late? Married couples getting divorced after 10, 20, even 30+ years of marriage! Couples in their 50’s and 60’s walking away from their spouse. I’m saddened when I hear these stories. (I am NOT referring to anyone who leaves an abusive relationship. NO abuse of any kind should EVER be tolerated)
Real love means you don’t check out when times get tough. It’s sticking around for difficult conversations, supporting each other through challenges, and, most importantly, growing together.
Sometimes love means compromise, like sitting through a partner’s favorite movie for the tenth time or supporting each other’s dreams—even if it means some sacrifice. Real love is commitment; it doesn’t walk away when things get a little rocky. To be clear, real love isn’t always picture-perfect.
True Love is Found in Everyday Moments
Think about it: it’s the little things, like when they remember exactly how you like your coffee order at Starbucks or send a quick “thinking of you” text on a busy day. How about making you laugh when you need it most.
It’s so easy to get caught up in the idea that love has to be over the top, but the truth is, real love is usually found in routines, in showing up, and in simply being there for each other.
Do you appreciate it when your partner calls and asks if you need anything from the store before they come home? Or ordering food from your favorite take-out spot when no one feels like cooking. Those small moments are what build the kind of connection that lasts. Real love shines in those small, everyday things that show up consistently. What ‘little thing’ can you do to show your partner you are thinking of them today?
My Journey with Love and Relationships (quick story)
Ever since I was a little girl, I just knew I’d be married one day. There was never any doubt—that was my destiny. I even promised myself I’d be the best wife and mother the world had ever seen. Fast forward: I graduated, started a federal government job, met my future hubby at work, fell in love, got married, had kids… and lived happily ever after. Or so I thought!
As it turns out, my story didn’t go exactly as planned. I’ll share more about that later.
True Love: Magic or Reality?
The reality is choosing to love someone, especially on tough days, is a choice. Real love isn’t always easy, and it’s definitely not perfect. But when both people choose to keep showing up, to communicate, and to support each other even when it’s challenging, that’s when the relationship becomes something solid and lasting. In this sense, “true love” isn’t something you stumble upon; it’s something you create by committing to each other and that’s real!
True love is often a mix of chemistry and choice. Chemistry might bring two people together, creating that initial spark, but it’s the daily choice to love, respect, and nurture each other that builds the foundation. Feelings are great, but they’re not everything.
Finally, true love can be both a bit of magic and hard work. Real love is about finding someone who sparks joy in your life and choosing to keep that spark alive, together. It’s not always easy, but the reward is a relationship where both people are fully invested, choosing each other every day—and that’s about as real as it gets.
Reflection: In Conclusion
As you reflect on what true love looks like to you, try writing down a few qualities you admire in your relationship (free downloadable worksheet).
How does your reality compare with your favorite love story? Do you find yourself holding your relationship to ‘fairy tale’ standards? If your love life could be a movie—what would be the name?
I’d love to hear your thoughts! Do you think true love is a myth?
Share your story in the comments, and let’s start a conversation about what true love looks like to you.
This post may contain affiliate links. This means if you make a purchase through one of these links, I may receive a small commission, at no extra cost to you. All opinions are my own. Read my full disclosure here.
Like This Posts? Share it!
